Driving End-to-End Synergies
2009 June 7
One way of describing my profession would be – I leverage core competencies to build synergies in a co-creative environment and articulate value propositions for key stakeholders and deliver transformational change by positioning comprehensive, end-to-end, verticalized, out-of-the-box solutions for productivity improvements.
But I noticed that execubabblers seem to have forgotten our epics, so for their own good, I had to do this:
Please do the needful and revert back with any concerns.
ps: Thanks to http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html
This is jalabulajaks, not jalsa or jilpa. Awesome read after a long time!
Simbly brilliant!!!!
Something very, very similar shot through my blog ages back
http://chroniclesofdementia.blogspot.com/2009/01/jazz-up-your-cv.html
I guess this comes from being an MBA.
Bloody brilliant
GAWD WONLY!!!!
Haha! Well-phrased. This completes what that “Mahabharata’s Feed” begun.
ROTFL, oh my god i cannot stop laughing, my favorites were Dasaratha touching base to leverage key relationships and the maintenance of the Indian Male Ego
The Ramayana was never so comprehensively right-sized with a long term vision, immediate short term benefits and a scalable, measurable, well defined goal and sssomebody stop me
needless to say the Case Study of the bridge project was more viable than the second, as there are more arrows.
Hilarious!
ROFL!!ROFL!!
ROFLMAO
Your proactiveness in developing this high utility presentation shall be duly considered while evaluating peer performance levels for yearly banding and promotions.
Your value-added customer-centric post has leveraged cutting edge presentation technology to synergise with your natural propensity for jocularity to deliver impact in alignment with your blog’s strategy.
Great stuff
Absolutely hilarious.. ROTFL
Absolutely awesome
LOL! I must admit, some of it flew past my non-tech brain, but what I got, I enjoyed!
It’s designed to sneak past any one’s brain, tech or non-tech. It is execubabble, and it’s knowledge-agnostic because it is completely devoid of it. So it’s perfectly fine that it flew past your brain. I would be deeply disturbed if any of it made any sense
Quite a lot of this was lost in overhead transmission at my end. I feel much better about it after reading your reply to Rads.
I have a friend who got his MBA in the US. He says one of his (more obnoxious) professors had a plaque on his desk that said, “I have an MBA, more is expected of me!”
I feel really good that I don’t have an MBA
Yes Rads, This is a Highly sophisticated Innovative presentation of seamlessly architected end user training and knowledge sharing technique. No one will understand it, including what I wrote. I didn’t understand what I wrote as well. Krish, that was a super link, the bullshit generator! Will come quite handy if I have to make a ppt in my life!
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious nothing less!!!! each work is a masterpiece, a work of art…. Love your senseless babble and ofcourse execubabblers…
To,
Jalsa.Jilpa,
Dear Mr.Jilpa
As the director of the company I am immensely pleased and delighted with your path breaking innovative business model through your presentation,which has helped us unleash hitherto unexplored,but a high potential market-Lessons from the great Indian Epics-Seemless Integration and application of Great Indian epics to the myriad issues facing corporate performance,by leveraging the seemingly dissimilar but greatly similar concepts found in epics like for eg Monkeys at the work place etc”,including but not limited to application of firecall testing method to uncovering “creatively manipulated books”.In addition to solving many mission critical business issues-This also addresses the issue of talent shortage innovatively by appointing our ancestors for some critical functions.
I am further delighted to inform you that you have been promoted to head this new business unit-IETCM-Indian epics to Corporate Management-and your designation in your role will be
Manag(apsa)ing F(P)art(n)er!
In lieu,depsite the severe economic down turn and market conditions-so severe that your directors were awarded only 25% raise and 50% raise in their annual bonus,I am pleased to offer you a raise of 1.75% in your annual compensation.Please note that any additional tax liability arising out of this will be to your account.
I wish you and your family,significantly better prosperity in life.
Best Regards,
Dat F. Jargon
Senior Farter and Country Damager-India.
Bridge Project = Crowd sourcing.
Lol! Besh besh!
Slide 13 and 18 are masterpieces!
“Ramayana is RSS enabled (and enabling)”
-Missed the last bit in first slide
As ex-consultant who spent quite some months making charts like that, I must say it is besh besh. As ex-consultant, I must also point out that there has to be a 1-page ’storyline’ in gobbelydook. Dack.com is pretty helpful there
Surpanakha’s nose was cut by Lakshman and not Rama.
Which is why it is Rama’s “Action Item”. In execubabble, an action item is something you delegate to others, in this case, to Lakshmana
Hi Krish,
Wont this be Lakshmana’s Action Item. ??
Rama’s Action Item are those which he need to do.
Is this has any link to owner/co-owner of the task.
This post is so enjoyable
Ashok: No. When managers get action items, they automatically get delegated to closest available minion, in this case, Lakshmana. Lakshmana, being a Module Leader himself, could have re-delegated down to Shatrughana, but he was not available, so that forced him to do the job himself.
Reverting back is kind of unnecessary krish. I just need to revert to you.
Great read as always….
Gili,
Software consultants don’t merely revert. They revert back, which causes the effect to bounce back on to the target. For e.g, If I ask you to revert, and you do, then I have to respond. But if I ask you to “revert” + “back”, then it’s your turn, always.
And oh, “revert” incidentally means “undo”, and therefore is generally inappropriate in this case, but hey, that’s part of the obfuscation.
I like slide 8 the best…
Brilliantly done !
Regular reader, not so regular commenter.
Dude..this was really funny!
this poast is going to inspire a reinterpretation of various other epics through other media!
http://www.bullshitbingo.net/cards/bullshit/
Surely you haven’t seen the Bullshit Bingo game right?
Fantabulous
Purila ! :p
Imagination at work!
Paradheena aahe jagati, putra manavacha! Dosha na kunaacha! [G. D. Madgulkar]
ExTREEEme!
We have recently written a re-interpreted version of Ramayana for a 3-D animation flick…and i wish someday we have enough ‘democracy and sensibility’ in our country to push the envelope this much.
Very recently got in an argument with a friend who took offense when I ’spoofed’ a Ghalib couplet for a news item…sanctimony being her war-cry. Don’t know what her reaction would be on seeing this…
u have outdone ur facebook mahabharatha with this.
I can’t find enough execubabbles to praise you…
OMG !!!!
A wonderful post … Good to back in form with Ramayana …I reckon are always a good performers on this bouncy mythological pitches and flat Software engineering pitches ….
That block diagram of ‘Three-tier architechture’ and ‘Bridge case study’ was simply superb…!!!
OMG !!!!
A wonderful jilpa post … Good to back in form with Ramayana …I reckon , you are always a good performers on this bouncy mythological pitches and flat Software engineering pitches ….
That block diagram of ‘Three-tier architechture’ and ‘Bridge case study’ was simply superb…!!!
HAHAHAHHAHA..
Offshore Development was too Gud
Awesome use of corporate buzzwords! பேசுவது என்னவென்று தெரியாமல் பிதற்றும் Professionalகளுக்கு நெத்தியடி!!
romba impressive….i wish i had discovered your blog before….you really put a smile on people’s moonjees….tht’s brilliant !!
nice post man, hilarious. Ramayana in business terms. Nalla velai valmiki ticket vangitaru illati pavam pa. I recently posted how swine flu came into existence in a funny way read this swine flew huch 1 ‘n’ 1
Three Tier Kidnap Architecture and Sanjeevani Framework were simply great Ashok.
Damn man..You make me miss my corporate days! Maybe I should get another job..
Absolutely Mindblowing!!!
longtime no new post! can’t wait for ur next post…
Lots of work and travel. Airports are not a particularly fertile ground for planing blog post seeds.
Waiting for ze next post!!!
Take your time krish, but keep it as good as ever
Aaah…suffering from KA withdrawal symptoms.
If not here can you at least post something on the snack edition?
Sita’s B2B features and robust back end – the muthaliks are at the gate
Howlariously good!!
Hahaha….now onto Allah.Ohwaitaminute I may lose my freaking head.
I think I saw this before. But I didn’t get the Ramayan reference at all. Even now, all I see is what appears to be an introductory paragraph. Is there a file? Do I need some plug-in/something to see it?
g
Ah. So you dont see the Slideshare presentation. Perhaps try the direct link – http://www.slideshare.net/krishashok/ramayana-core-value-proposition-1544091 . If you dont see that, then you need to check to see if your flash player version is reasonably new. If you can see youtube videos, you should be able to see this
greta post