Azhwarkadiyan Nambi and Eesaana Bhattar presumably had descendants. And perhaps they lived in the New Thanjavur Sector of the Pegasus Beta Settlement, and perhaps they went to the same school, and played on the same zero-gravity slide. Perhaps both grew up to be cyberpriests on interstellar spaceships. Perhaps they chilled out at the Galactic Spaceport bar. Wonder what sort of “I am better than you” arguments they had.
EB Jr: Iyers are better
AN Jr: No, Iyengars are better
EB Jr: Iyer sounds like Higher and that’s why we are better
AN Jr: Iyer sounds like Air and that’s exactly what you are full of.
EB Jr: We fly high like Iyerplanes while you still travel using yesterday’s IyenCars
AN Jr: At least we travel in Rolls Royce Iyencars while you suffer from Deep Vein Thrombosis in Economy class Iyerplanes
EB Jr: Iyengar sounds like I-Anger, and that describes you guys pretty well
AN Jr: Iyer sounds like I-Err, and that describes you guys even better
EB Jr: We are also Smartha than you.
AN Jr: Of course you aren’t. How can you be when you follow the Odd Waiter philosophy?
EB Jr: Your naamam looks like a V with an I in between, and reminds me of vi, that useless editor
AN Jr: vi is the best editor in the world, and I can do a s/r/ngar before you can apply your vibhuti
EB Jr: You call yourselves Why Snow White? Ignorance is built into your name
AN Jr: You call yourselves Say White. Painting everything white smacks of a lack of creativity.
EB Jr: Your C-rap (Carnatic Rap) star R.E.A. Goody sucks. His voice should be used as an alternative energy source by carpenters sawing wood.
AN Jr: Your C-rap star MD (Mad Durai) Money sucks even more. He hardly raps words. He keeps pulling out his item girl assistant (Kalpana Swara) to distract the crowd with her gyrations.
And so on.
59 responses so far ↓
Ganesh KB // May 9, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Wow! Am I really the first to comment?!! “vi is the best editor in the world, and I can do a s/r/ngar before you can apply your vibhuti” helped fill up my laughter quota for the day!
foo // May 9, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Nyaanum rowdy aakkum, kaettaeLa?
foo // May 9, 2008 at 7:36 pm
The only thing more pathetic than an Iyer vs Iyengar fight would be a Vadakalai vs Thenkalai fight, but a Thanjavur vs Palakkad fight would give it close competition.
Adithya // May 9, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Nice, The vi editor part was the best.
The retort could be, you all prefer Emac-u so you are all makku?? Or is that too mokkai???
current // May 9, 2008 at 10:25 pm
s/r/ngar , odd waiter, why snow white, say white
kudos to your imagination….
complicateur // May 9, 2008 at 10:46 pm
That opening riff was very similar to a set the Jon Stewart used to doabout Jesus, Moses and Mohammed. “They all grew up in the same neigheborhood, probably played pickup basketball together etc..” Nice iyerisation - or is it iyengarisation - Freeya vidu.
complicateur // May 9, 2008 at 11:49 pm
Oh btw congratulations on linking a jewish stand up comic and Ponniyin Selvan. Only in the webspace!
Giridhar // May 10, 2008 at 1:41 am
yen intha thideer eSandai ?
Bhel Puri & Seekh Kabab // May 10, 2008 at 3:09 am
Am I behind the times, or is this the first example of TamBram SF?
Although curious minds want to know - what were AN and EB quaffing at the Galactic adda while having this conversation? AN’s laced Sambaram to EB’s bootleg Rasam?
Lavanya // May 10, 2008 at 3:45 am
haha, Romba kusumbu you have, but being a proud mercedes benz iyen-car myself, I need to tell you that there’s a U namam variant as well. V is thengalai, U is vadagalai. Hence giving us various styling options and thus making us superior.
Ashok: Oho. VI and UI
Mukunth // May 10, 2008 at 4:10 am
Ithukunne okkandhu yosipannungalo ??
King Vishy // May 10, 2008 at 4:11 am
ROFLOL.. “I can do a s/r/ngar” was tooooooo good.. Though for a moment wondered what srinagar had to do here!
been a long time since i worked on vi..
And the whole post oozed with extreme creativity!!! Ukkaandhu yosichaa kooda ivlo laam thonuma?!
And Lavanya.. UI styling options is an interesting addendum
King Vishy // May 10, 2008 at 4:12 am
@Mukunth..
“ukkandhu yosikkuradhu” was a coincidental reference..
Ur comment was not there when I entered mine
Madhavan // May 10, 2008 at 4:14 am
That is a great one, but you forgot the most obvious one.. Of how Ire tends to triumph over Anger
Wasn’t it in the same Nambi vs Bhattar episode that someone spake: Ariyum Sivamum onnu, idha ariyadhavan vayila mannu?
Basically, we Iyers are better because we think the client and the server are one, while the namams simply don’t get it. I mean, in a connected world of P2P, B2B, C2C, what is B2C? It is all the same Net brahmam.
Anonymous // May 10, 2008 at 4:26 am
Amazing one! Hats off to you for coming up with this.
Dude you ROCK!
Anonymous // May 10, 2008 at 4:30 am
@Lavanya (no offense intended)
all spiticul kalais
narendra shenoy // May 10, 2008 at 4:58 am
1. The travails of T. N. Seshan illustrate the truth of the old saying, the iyer they are, the harder they fall.
2. A peeping tom was arrested today. His defense was that he wanted to see the changing of the iyengaard.
narendra shenoy // May 10, 2008 at 6:45 am
A small but influential community of tamil Brahmins has been agitating for a separate homeland, on the lines of Khalistan and Bodolan. However, their movement is said to have suffered a setback when it came to light that the name “Republic of Iyerland” has already been taken in the UN.
B a l a j i // May 10, 2008 at 9:29 am
Odd White, Why snow white….. rotfl
parthi // May 10, 2008 at 9:35 am
yenungo! summa thool kelappitteenga!
Australopithecus // May 10, 2008 at 10:01 am
heh. funny.
Jaya // May 10, 2008 at 11:43 am
nice….was little techie for me, but loved the Azhwarkadiyan stuff
pinastro // May 10, 2008 at 12:25 pm
VI Editor is ….V shaped Namum is good.
Surprised to see No “Graphics” work as you have done for previous blogs like ..Kaka kronicles,Newtonian theories etc etc.
pinastro // May 10, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Hope you are feeling fine now after the treatment suggested by the Doctor for HyperWebiac
maami // May 10, 2008 at 2:11 pm
I vs I: Divided we fall?
Ashok: No no. Divided we get quotient and remainder, quotient being iyer and remainder being iyengar, or wait. Is it the other way around?
Suresh Ramasubramanian // May 10, 2008 at 2:14 pm
<>
That was vanthiyathevan, in the azhwarkadiyan intro scene (where he is threatening to bash a saivite and an advaitins head in, before a crowd..)
Now all we need is pangalactic gargleblaster (or jinnantonyx) equivalents for the iyers and iyengars
It will probably involve just how much percentage of plantation A, “beaberry” and chicory should go into their morning coffee ..
Ashok: Ah yes. Perhaps the Amaklamatic Filterblaster
Nikhil Narayanan // May 10, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Oh! I thought the fight was over long back.
Peace!
Hilarious as usual.
PS: Iyer sounds like liar to me after reading this.
Krishnan // May 11, 2008 at 1:13 am
Devastating humor. As someone remarked, looks like you are sowing the seeds of first TamBrahm SF.
James Mylaporean // May 11, 2008 at 5:47 am
The hiyer you go, the highengar the fall.
Suresh Ramasubramanian // May 11, 2008 at 9:48 am
TN Seshan on Palakkadu Iyers - “cooks, crooks and civil servants”
~nm // May 12, 2008 at 5:45 am
Simply hilarious!!!
gireesh // May 12, 2008 at 9:35 am
sooper stuff…U are raising the bar one step higher each time..Kalakkals..
reply to maami’s comment was too good…
VB // May 12, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Enjoy reading this blog, but posting a comment for the first time.
This topic actually takes me back a long time almost 18-20 years to a CBSE pallikudam in Mylapore where we had inter-class JAM sessions. For the uninitiated - JAM had nothing to do with the red color sticky stuff that was spread on your bread at the local Iyengar bakery (ooops IYENGAR bakery - pun not intended) - in JAM or Just-a-Minute sessions contestants had to speak non-stop for a minute on a topic with pauses only to catch their breath with a whole set of rules and conditions attached. Anyway, what is important was the funniest session we had was on a topic - The iyer and iyer you go, the iyengar you become ! Almost all contestants were tambrams (given the mylapore pallikudam setting, the probability of that happening was definitely 0.99999999999999) and took off on one another. And btw, the judge who set the topic and had a lot of fun ruling on objections and factual errors was if my memory serves me right ………..an iyengar
Balaji // May 12, 2008 at 1:06 pm
What does a VI editor refer to…. ???
Kindly enlighten
Ashok: It’s the world’s greatest text editor. It is usually available on all UNIX-based systems
revathi // May 12, 2008 at 2:41 pm
What do you like better- Iyer’s goli soda or Iyengars Kapi?
Arunk // May 12, 2008 at 5:31 pm
hilarious and creative - and yes vi indeed is the best editor the world
Bikerdude // May 12, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Gaaaaaaaaahahaha good one.
You may continue to be vada ma, while I will be an entire vada kalai.
Arun Sundar // May 12, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Sheer brilliance. Next, Come up with an intra-gallactic fight between vadama and Arthasaasthram
maxdavinci // May 12, 2008 at 10:44 pm
nothing but praise to offer….
maami // May 13, 2008 at 1:49 am
Ullo,
Yaarba vadama-sathuma namma arthasaasthram- asadu nu sonnathu?
Deepa Mohan // May 13, 2008 at 3:56 am
Enjoying your blog so much. Adding it to my Goggle ( I goggle at the posts every day) reader.
Mamta Naidu quoted from your leeches with icecream post on my blog, that’s how I came along to visit you.
I am a tambram living in Bangalore and hope you also have a Blr-Chennai-which-is-better fight posted soon! “Chennai people are so cultured ya!” “But with that weather, they stink!” ..and so on.
vasuki // May 13, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Very creative and well written.
You blog rocks.
Labakku Das // May 13, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Hilarious stuff. But please explain “and I can do a s/r/ngar before you can apply your vibhuti”. I am an iyen-car btw but cant get that
Ashok: It’s a regular expression for converting Iyer to Iyengar. It stands for substitute “r” with “ngar”.
munimma // May 13, 2008 at 3:36 pm
you had to bring a ghost from the past (vi). How many folks used it or even know what it is
Hilarious as usual! vetti velai ithaana? super puns!
Rhet // May 13, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Ever heard of Ayengar beer. How can someone top that?
Aditya.R // May 14, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Hilarious! I did’nt find any reference to Iyer-mess though. Keep it going looking forward to a Thenkalai Vs Vadakalai !
kavitha // May 14, 2008 at 4:16 pm
rofl…
why snow white and say white bit was the best!
prats35 // May 14, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Gosh!!!!! this has to be the one to take the cake….
Hilarious indeed…
kavitha // May 14, 2008 at 5:29 pm
oh on a diff note…the news on “Darth Vader”attack on a “Jedi Church” in Wales…ahahaha…reminded me of your Darth Vaadhiar..
Siddharth // May 14, 2008 at 11:35 pm
You did not just dive into the abyss of iyer vs iyengar cliche’dom.
Praveen GK // May 15, 2008 at 12:30 am
Hahahaha…ROFL
The Iyengaran took a veiled threat by calling him a slow motion crawler, since he took I-YEARS to perform a particular task. The Iyer responded with a sarcastic “Look, who’s talking? After all you are an I-EON-gar!!!!!”
Superb post
Deepa Mohan // May 15, 2008 at 7:49 am
Oh, you forgot to mention that great English book about the Say Whites, by Emily Bronte…Jane Iyer! And the Why Snow White cat, I.N.Garfield…
Arvind // May 16, 2008 at 7:43 am
Iyers rock! Period.
Jayakanthan // May 16, 2008 at 2:13 pm
I read this somewhere:
Heights of Egoism -> I, Iyer, Iyengar
Suresh Ramasubramanian // May 16, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Speaking of Iyers .. here’s this little vignette of 1960s Matunga - the Mylapore of Bombay (that is, throw a brick anywhere in there and you’ll hit a iyer). Talking about Sengalipuram Anantharama Dikshitar, the discourse / katha kalakshepam guy
http://www.keralaiyers.com/mm1.html
“Anantha Rama Dikshitar’s love for scholarship was matched by his avarice for money. He would accept lunch assignments and walk away with fabulous trophies. During discourse he would indicate his achievements so as to get further invitations. Sometimes he would stoop to incredibly low levels. One instance will suffice. He had gone one day for lunch at the house of a Sankaranarayana Iyer who was a bigwig in a company manufacturing Purgolax- the Dikshitar stated that he was feted by Sankaranarayana Iyer whose product Purgolax– a laxative-works as fast as “Rama Bana”. As cruel and cheap a comparison to divine arrows of Rama as possible.”
and another story .. heard this third or fourth hand from an elderly relative, I think. Another uniquely Iyer ad for Purgolax. Dikshitar said in one of his discourses, sponsored by the Purgolax Iyer, that whenever he says the word “Bhargo” in the Gayatri Mantra, he gets reminded of the generosity of the Purgo lax company.
hawkeye // May 16, 2008 at 8:51 pm
/* It’s the world’s greatest text editor. It is usually available on all UNIX-based systems */
enna saar. ungalukku emacs mela enna kovam?
Iyer/Iyengar matteroda kalakka vendaam
Ashok: Adhu separate debate
Suri // May 17, 2008 at 6:55 am
I am a proud Iyer and would like to add
All men are equal including even Iyengars!
Suri // May 17, 2008 at 6:56 am
I am a proud Iyer and would like to reluctantly admit that
All men are equal including even Iyengars!
nagee // May 18, 2008 at 1:44 am
… high, iyer, iyengar….
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