Microhistory
2007 July 10
Alien from distant (obviously) planet arrives. Speaks in a musical Tirunelveli accent for some strange reasons involving an unholy union of theoretical physics and coconut chutney. Proceeds to blow up all of Jerusalem and says “There you go. Problem solved”. Then aims nucleoplasma guns on the rest of earth and asks a question:
“Summarize the history of your species (Homo Sapiens) in exactly 10 words. “
The best answer wins a pirated DVD of “Aap ka Surroor” along with a full colour printout of the Moviee unofficial comic with bonus pages containing hidden subplots yet unrevealed.
Extra Bonus prize for ultracool responses: Large size poster of Vijaykanth with fake Himesh autograph.
I suck at these things but here goes:
“A mammal debating its own existence while undergoing natural selection.”
To the Alien: ‘We argued endlessly about how we’d answer that very question.’
my 10 dollars ( a dollar a word – whoever said silence is golden never tried speaking!) -
“We come, we see, we try to live, we die!”
And later when Earth is blown to bits, the epitaph would read -
“They came, they saw, they tried to live, they died.”
Not bad. But I am looking for creative summaries of the entirety of human history. I will give you a corny example:
“Monkey stoned jews in rome with crosses, crescents and technology”
Each word in the sentence alludes to critical periods of human history – evolution from monkeys, the stone age, judaism, rome, chrisitanity, islam and 20th century technology”
Here you go:
“See, in the big picture everything is irrelevant I say.”
The above is the favourite quote of my belowed paternal, usually said while reading the paper, sipping filter kaapi in a banyan and veshti :p
Of course, you could always smirk at the Alien and say ‘42′, then watch him bow down to your infinite wisdom.
However 42 is not ten words so the alien gets you with a technicality.
My turn, my turn!
“God made Earth, Christ remade Man and Man destroys all.”
When the State withered away….”And at the end there was Google.”
@Averybodies,
great going. Some serious contenders for Da Prize. 2 more days. Get your blogroll to participate.
“We have evolved over thousands of years into Himesh Reshammiya.”
can I try again?
“We perfected time travel – from monkey to man and back.”
trust me, brevity is not as easy as it seems.
Having effectively sealed the fate of our planet with my entry, my last wish is to receive that poster. I would like to stare into the fiery eyes of Puratchi Captain Karuppu MGR while attaining Paraloka Prapti.
According to Bistromathics, 42 IS 10, but let’s not go there.
To the Alien: ‘We’re lost. We took the wrong left enroute to Eden.’
I believe in brevity. 1 word – Oops!
I presume the contest is closed, so here’s the 10-word postscript:
Back-stabbing politician sneaks upto Alien: “Drop gun else hear Himesh”.
Why not your own blog title?
“Doing Jalsa and showing Jilpa, doing Jalsa and showing Jilpa. ”
There, 10 words.
If not what for?
Jalsa panni jilpa pottu jigina vutta jujubis
@Raghav
Oh no, not Bistromathics!
I like this one best! “We perfected time travel – from monkey to man and back.”